I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize