So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't deserve a penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
