im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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