where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
