I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
