You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She's like a pop up book from hell.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
