Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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