i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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