Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
