I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
