Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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