dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize