I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
