I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
