whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish i was in the wii world.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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