What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
