toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
