My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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