but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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