does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
