Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
