I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
