I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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