Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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