I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
