she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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