chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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