He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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