She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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