The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
