Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize