I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
