You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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