see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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