Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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