Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Terrible idea I love it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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