He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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