What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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