So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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