Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
