While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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