so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
