Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize