help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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