? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
