I want to have your abortion
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
