make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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