I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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