Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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