it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
