I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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