Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
