Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
