i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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