a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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