Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
