so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
