I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize