I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
