Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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