OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
