that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
