If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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