I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
