Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
