I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
