Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
