Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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