He uses pillows to masturbate.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
