i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
