Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
