And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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